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AFFL in Chaos: Commissioner Ara Locks Out Entire League. Charges Co-Managers $1 tax. Mardig on his way out??

Raffi Lalazarian

Ara Tannen? Welcome to the new AFFL

Ara Tannen? Welcome to the new AFFL

In back-to-the-future 2, Marty McFly went into the future to Hill Valley, where to his surprise his whole community was being run down by gambling tycoon Biff Tanner. The dark cloud of Tannen created a society full of sex, drugs, gambling and decadence. We're not quite to the year of 2020, but the set of events may be in place in the AFFL.

In less than a week, New acting Commissioner Ara has managed to infuriate managers, put the league on lock-down, and threaten to kick out members who have been in the league for over 10 years. Looks like the future is now, and it's very dark.

On Tuesday afternoon, Commish Prime Time locked all teams from picking up players or performing any actions due to a "lack of respect" that one team showed to another. Kim Jung- Ara went on to establish clear rules for co-managers stating that there would be a $1 tax on "all co-manager teams and failure to pay the fine will result in league exemption." The "Dollars for Dumb-asses" program as Ara is calling it will help fund needy families who are living on government handouts around southern California. The league has not responded well to the new policies.

HBK manager lashed out to the policies stating that he needs to pick someone to "help him lose more respectably this week to Bomba." He went a step further to file a formal petition to play under protest should the lock-out continue.

"I don't give a rats ass who he thinks he is, he's not my commissioner," Said a heated HBK outside of his team's headquarters late Tuesday afternoon. "I'll start my own league, the WWAFFL, with only wrestling names baby."

The threats against Commissioner Ara came from all sides, including Dre and Avo, owners of Shabam Shadiq, who said they refuse to listen to anything that Ara says. They added he can kiss their Diq. No response was issued from the Commissioner office.

Vosgeee out the House?? Last place could mean just that in the new Ara era.

Vosgeee out the House?? Last place could mean just that in the new Ara era.

It is clear that the league's managers are having a gag reflex at the thought of having to swallow Ara as the acting commissioner, and the result is a mess everywhere. It's fair to wonder if the charade has gone on too long and that Lalazarian should return to take control. There have been no reports of that happening any time soon, and the league has had no communication with Lalazarian to this point.

One manager that hopes that Lalazarian returns is Vosgereechee Gyank owner Mardig, who now finds himself in the precarious position of perhaps becoming the first team to be kicked out of the league because of a last place finish. When word reached Mardig that this could happen he released the following statement: "Ara, Kakus Ger."

Will Ara kick Mardig out? How long will he tolerate the co-manager teams? Does he even sleep anymore or does he just think about ways of killing managers all night? It's a crazy time in the AFFL and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.

In short, the league's feelings are captured in Biff Tannen's infamous quote:

Hey Ara, "why don't you make like a tree and get outta here."

 

Ara-FFL? Prime Time Owner New Acting Commissioner. Lala Goes MIA after Accusations of Unethical Behavior

Raffi Lalazarian

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The AFFL Trade deadline is on Friday, and it looks like the League may have swapped something else besides players.

In a shocking twist, long-time commissioner Lalazarian has gone MIA after accusations by league managers of unethical behaviors. In his absence, Frank Samian, head of AFFL operations has sworn in Prime Time league owner Ara Malikian to take over all league activities and decision making.

11.08.17... when the AFFL changed forever

11.08.17... when the AFFL changed forever

"Well if I weren't a blind son-of-bitch, we don't know where the commish went," said a disgruntled and worn down Samian outside AFFL HQ early Thursday morning. "With the deadline approaching, we needed someone to approve trades, can't just have a fart in the wind sitting in the head chair. Ara was the logical choice."

During a conversation with league managers Sayyad and Harout over a possible changing of the trade deadline date, the Commissioner shot down any notion that the possibility of a trade would even be up for a vote. To this, manager of Cobra Kai went over the Commissioner's head and decided to conduct a vote anyway, prompting the commissioner to lash out in anger and ultimately leave the league entirely.

A video published early Thursday morning was released that showed the Commissioner in some sort of Vietnamese prison or Burmese half-way house giving his endorsement to Prime Time as the new acting commissioner. In the video, the Commissioner warns the league that they got what they had hoped for, and things would be very different now.

As for Prime Time, this is a sort of coup-de-gratis for him. He has long dreamed of taking over the AFFL and now has the chance to unleash his power on the rest of the 12 managers. We can only imagine what is to come. With Malikian no manager is safe, or should I say, no co-manager is safe.  This saga isn't over. Stay tuned.

AFFL Exclusive: Sabatoge. Betrayal. Corruption. Uncovering the Darkside Of Co-Managers

Raffi Lalazarian

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9am Sunday Morning. The sounds of birds chirping give call to another Fantasy game day. Inside the Shabam HQ, Dre rises, splashes some water on his face, pours his morning coffee, and checks the inactives. His phone has 12 missed calls and 14 text messages from co-manager Avo. He brushes it aside for the time being and goes on with his routine.

Click. TV. The morning talking heads give their advice on who to start in this weeks line-up. Dre calmly places his laptop on his boxer briefs, pops the top, and gets to work. Sunday, the Fantasy Gods don't rest.

9:15am Sunday morning. Avo has 4 computer screens open, each with a different fantasy pundit giving their advice. The question in his mind, "Start Landry or Cooper Kupp?" 20 different post-it notes, each with different statistical facts to the question at hand, are pasted around the house,  revealing the trail that Avo has woven over the past 45 minutes. Avo grabs his phone. Still no response from Dre. Typical, he thinks. Dre is probably still asleep.

9:27 am Sunday Morning. Dre gets a text. Cooper Kupp or Landry Mayret Koonem wake-up?!! Dre doesn't appreciate the Armenian greeting. He puts down the coffee, and replies, "Landry" He adjusts his glasses and continues his morning twitter stroll.

9:28 am Sunday Morning. Avo's phone dies. He's been on it since 7:30, watching Australian rules football. He plugs it in to charge. Still unsure of who to start, Avo ventures to the computer for more research.

9:45am Sunday Morning. Dre takes a magazine and goes into the "office." He won't be out until at least 9:50.

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9:51 am. Sunday Morning. Avo panics. He knows Kupp is just a rookie, but he has a feeling. A feeling that only the Black Eyed Peas and few others have ever known about. Avo decides that Dre is holding him back. He takes matters into his own hands.

10:01 am. Sunday Morning. Rosters are locked. Dre meets his wife for breakfast, and they enjoy some Eggs and toast. He does not know about the switch.

10:10 am. Sunday Morning. Dre picks up his phone to see that Kupp is in the starting roster. He texts Avo. "Why did you switch Landry?" Avo replies, "I had a feeling."

9:30 pm Sunday Evening. Dre and Avo lose by 5 points. Kupp scores 5.2. Landry 13.20. They would've won.

The world of co-managing is ruthless. Relying on two brains to make one decision, when one of those brains are seemingly "unlucky" can be ruthless. While many believe the world of the co-manager is one with "more input" leading to better decisions, it is often times one that is marred with backstabbing and sabatoge. Did Avo take offense to Dre ignoring his texts? Was this a deliberate attack to establish power? It very well could have been.

Co-managers from different teams usually never walk behind each other. A rare photo.

Co-managers from different teams usually never walk behind each other. A rare photo.

Psychologist Dr. Varmik Tsutseesik (prounounced Tsuh-tsee-tseek) finds that when making decisions on who to start, "the interpersonal relationship comes to play and can often times be manifested in subconscious acts of aggression against the other in the form of purposeful neglect."

There have been a few obvious signs of sabotage in the AFFL, most recently during week 2 of this season, when BDiddy managers inexplicably started Eli manning over Matthew Stafford. The move was justified by BDiddy manager Baret by saying they felt Manning would have "a 6 touchdown game similar to one he had years ago." However, the AFFL courier has uncovered that that quote was told to Baret by Tiggy, and was part of a 2 hour conversation where the 3rd leg of the trans-manager team convinced Baret and Mikey that Eli was going to "blow-up." Was this a way of Tiggy getting back at the other two managers for his small cut of the BDiddy franchise? Dr. Varmik thinkso.

"You could not tell me that Eli over Stafford was done with good intentions," he said. "That's a losing move, and the fact that Tiggy sold it just underlines the animosity he must feel by being almost let go for a $50 co-manager fee."

While Sabotage seems to be the theme of the above examples, there have been other incidents of Betrayl, namely in the Hartan camp.

A co-managers mind is always plotting.. but for what??

A co-managers mind is always plotting.. but for what??

In 2010, Vartan called Harout about a trade proposed to them by Dre and Avo week 3: Jason Witten for Marques Colston. Vartan wanted to ship Witten since he was a cowboys player. Harout did not want Colston and put his foot down that Witten was worth the hold. Vartan went ahead and pulled the deal despite Harout's wishes.

Fast forward to week 11 of that same season. With the trade deadline approaching, and still upset about the state of the team since the Witten trade, Harout secretly works a backdoor deal with Cobra kai, sending Jamaal Charles and the despised Marques Colston for Drew Brees and Pierre Thomas. Vartan finds out about the trade a day later in an AFFL news break without Harout mentioning a word. When he finally asked Harout what happened? Harout just responded "Witten."

Many will say that this is all hearsay, that there is really no proof of infighting between managers. Experts would like to think that, but could anyone honestly look at the Magnum Sev.i draft results and not think they weren't trying take one another down during the live auction draft?  $39 for Ty Hilton with Luck hurt? An Rb and WR tandem from the Colts and Broncos?  I mean WTF?

Magnum Sev.i bid against themselves for Ty for $39. And Luck was injured.

Magnum Sev.i bid against themselves for Ty for $39. And Luck was injured.

They say two wrongs don't make a right. This couldn't me more true in the case of co-managing. A vehement opponent of co-managers, Ara Malikian, recently turned the AFFL world upside down when he announced that he would have a co-manager for this season. His co-manager turned out to be his little baby girl Datev, who was introduced to the league in an adorable video talking smack to the league. Now with the official title of co-manager, could she be the next person to sabatoge team Prime Time? If Ara leaves his laptop open, would she dare crawl across the keyboard, give the mouse pad a few taps, and hope that she accidentally proposes a trade to Vosgee: Kareem Hunt for Jeremy Maclin. Would Vosgee even accept?

The world of co-managers is a dark one, filled with emotional riffs, grudges and payback when things aren't going right. Is it surprising that all the co-managing teams currently have losing records and are placed 7-10? No. What is surprising that nobody that is a bi-manager has ended up in the hospital. yet. For the sake of the AFFL insurance policy, we hope it stays that way.

The Greatest AFFL Fantasy Performance that Nobody every Saw...

Raffi Lalazarian

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The 200 point week. It's the apex of all fantasy targets. 9 rosters spots all singing in unison to heavenly heights, coming together as one for one glorious week of fantasy nirvana, cracking the 200 point barrier. It's the fantasy equivalent of running the 5 minute mile. Of breaking the sound barrier. Of eating 1 pound of bastarma and not sweating it out. In the fantasy world, the 200 point mark is that mark that would set line-ups apart for the ages. 

In the AFFL, the record books hold the honor of greatest fantasy performance by a team to BDiddy, who reached as close to the fantasy heavens as possible in 2011, when they put up 193.90 points. With only 7 points separating the team from the 200 point mark, the league was in frenzy watching the total climb little by little toward the 200 point plateau. Managers were glued to the score, wondering if BDiddy could be the first to reach the fantasy moon, and break the 200 barrier. He was close, but failed to reach it. The plateau would remain an ideal to dream about for years to come.

Managers in the AFFL were asked "will anyone break the 200 point mark?" Their responses were diplomatic. BDiddy exclaimed that there was no chance anyone could climb past the 193.90 mark. Grabbers said maybe, but it would be really difficult. And Hartan said he'll be doing that next week.

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But what if someone already has? Yes. The infamous 200 point mark has already been achieved, yet nobody even knew about. The year: 2014. The team: The Atomic Bomba.

In 2014, the Atomic Bomba had a down season. The team was never able to put together a consistent run of weeks, finishing the season a lousy 6-7. The finish was just outside the playoff picture, and sent the team into the consolation bracket with a bye. While the consolation bracket forced managers to continue playing, nobody paid attention to the results, except the teams involved.

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But in the week 14 game, a game that saw Bomba not play anyone, The Atomic Bomba set a meaningless line-up that would do what no other team had done: eclipse the 200 point mark. The roster featured Matt Ryan at QB, with Wr's AJ green, and Calvin Johnson. Running backs Arian Foster, and Fred Jackson, along with Isiah Crowell in the flex. Rounding out the line-up was Eric Ebron at TE, the Rams Def, and Mason Crosby.

With Bomba being on bye, the point total would not even show up on the consolation page, and the only person that would know what his starting line-up did would be Bomba. In fact, even he didn't realize the extent of his teams performance and only found out about the feat through the Yahoo record books. There, the books showcased the result of that week. 

Most points scored in a single week. The Atomic Bomba vs - 2014 inWeek 14- 200.90

"It was the greatest weekly performance that nobody ever saw," said AFFL historian Robert Zafarian. "The Bomba hit the 200 point mark and nobody knows about it."

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Many have compared the feat to the Dream Team scrimage of 1990, one which featured 10 hall of famers squaring off in a no-holds barred pick-up game. The only proof of such a game was in a grainy video taken from inside the gym. It has been dubbed "the greatest game nobody ever saw."

For the Bomba, no screenshots, no final box scores exist, only the Yahoo confirmation that the starting line-up set during that week was worthy of 200.90 points. The lack of proof have many speculating that the 200 point score is a hoax, or a glitch, where the system tallied up the the total points on the roster. That however has been refuted by experts who acknowledge the authenticity of the books.

It is now 2017, and teams are still pursuing the 200 point apex, with little knowledge that it has already happened. Despite this however, teams forge ahead, planning, predicting and setting line-ups in hopes of hitting the mark during a game in the regular season, or in the playoffs, marking a championship run with the greatest performance in AFFL history. And if it happens again, maybe this time, people will see it.

AFFL Star Wars Edition: What If AFFL Teams Were Star Wars Characters..

Raffi Lalazarian

Star Wars doesn't come out for a few months, but that didn't stop the AFFL Courier from wondering what these teams would be called if they were Star Wars characters. The writers had a blast free-balling ideas about name tweaks to current AFFL teams. This wasn't just about changing a name that was close to a Star Wars characters, this was about capturing the essence of the AFFL squad if it were in the Star Wars universe. A tough task indeed.

While the list is plentiful of names that we feel are right on point with what the team is about, there were a few that didn't make the list.

  • The Gyank Rebo Band
  • Cobra Qui-gon
  • Primeporer Palpatime
  • Jajme Amidala
  • Princess Lala
  • BDidooku
  • Har Solo
  • Jajwa

Without further ado, we present the AFFL Star Wars edition. (in Alpha order)

 

Awesomeness - Owner David

Star Wars Character Name:

Lala Calrissian

Quick, who first uttered the famous phrase "Here goes nothing?" That's right, Awesomeness during the 2008 draft when he took 3 Atlanta falcons. Lando's famous line embodies all that Awesomeness is. Unprepared for drafts. Unfamiliar with rookies. I mean how many times has he uttered "who" during a draft. But in true Billy Dee Williams form, David doesn't waiver. He stays cool and calm even when his team is falling apart. That's Calrissian. A former gambler turned rebel General, the two can mutually say they have shared success. Lando dropped bombs into the death star in the third Jedi film. Likewise, Awesomeness won two titles. Both happened a long time ago, and they've both been insignificant since. Man the similarities are eerie.

 

Atomic Bomba - Owner Raffi

Star Wars Character Name:

Bomba Fett

3 Titles. Numerous top 2 finishes. Like the fearless bounty hunter from the Star Wars movies, this team has reaped many rewards from his scouring across AFFL land. Fett is just a bad ass, a cool costume wearing outlaw that doesn't take crap from anyone, not even Darth Vader. We've seen this fearlessness in the Bomba on numerous occasions, for example, when he drafted three falcons to win him a title, or Elliot this year banking on the suspension being delayed. Star Wars fans gravitate to Boba because of his cool costume, and let's just face it, being the bomba in the AFFL is cool. At the end of return of the Jedi, Boba Fett is eatin like a pit monster. That doesn't fit into this narative, but we believe it should be noted. Damn, maybe that's why Bomba hasn't won a title in 5 years. He's still cool though. We swear.

 

 

BDiddy - Owners Baret, Mike, Tiggy

Star Wars Character Name:

BWoks

Yes, those cute, cuddly, confused little guys. The lone trans-manager team in the AFFL is made up of three managers. In essence, three managers would be 1/3 the size of one full manager. This compares proportionally to the actual size of an Ewok, giving BDiddy a very deep metaphorical, physical connection. Like their little teddy bear Star Wars characters, BDiddy does everything in a group. One person tells the other person, who tells the other person what each of the other two is thinking. This group think is important to their survival, and Ewoks work in groups too. They huddle to tell stories, and fight with a tribal mentality. But they are hardly vicious, and basically poke and throw rocks. That about summarizes BDiddy's smack talk skills. Harmless. But can't you just imagine Bwok Tiggy swinging a rope with rocks around his head and having it wrap around his throat, knocking him in the head and to the floor. Oh it's just priceless. Or Baret accidentally catapulting Mikey into a canopy of trees? Please, someone make these GIFs now.

 

Cobra Kai - Owner Sayyad

Star Wars Character Name:

Yobra

If you want words of wisdom that don't make much sense, you listen to Yoda. In the AFFL chatroom, that honor belongs to Cobra. With a mix of Armenian and Eastern philosophy, a dolma meets the dumpling if you will, Cobra has rocked the earlobes of managers with witty phrases for years. For example, just this week, in his response to HBK picking up LeVeon Bell's handcuff, Cobra responded "Or let others waste their picks doing so. You'll drop him before the week is over." There are no more picks to waste, this isn't a draft. We don't know what cobra means, but its fun. More importantly, the Yobra is all about mind manipulation. For years, the AFFL Jedi master has convinced managers to pull off lopsided trades in his favor. Everyone knows this, yet it still happens. "Help you I can?" Yeah right. More like "Trade rape you I can. Yes." This little green bastard gives every bad guy the red ass in the Star Wars trilogy. The same can be said of Cobra kai. Cobra has one title but has since faded away. Fitting since that's the way Yoda went out. Here's to cultural connections.

 

Grabbers United - Owner Sassoon

Star Wars Character Name:

Admiral Grabckar

"It's a trap!" You can just hear Sassoon yelling that to his kids after examining a trade offer from Bomba. Who doesn't like Admiral Akbar? Nobody. Everyone loves Grabbers, the diplomatic, very fair, AFFL manager who just gets a bad beat. However, Grabbers has managed to navigate the AFFL waters twice to make it to the Finals. Like Akbar's face, some seasons have been ugly, but this fish knows how to swim, and swim to the finals he has. Even the facts about Ackbar just sound like they are about Grabbers. For example, Ackbar dedicated his love to the resistance-at the expense of his own legacy. They share humbleness and humility. Also, the pronunciation of Ackbar's name led to some controversy. I think that correlation speaks for itself. How many gay porn searchers have lead men to the Grabbers United team page? I rest my case.

 

Hartan - Owner Harout, Vartan

Star Wars Character Name:

 

HaRTusKAN Raiders

 

The irony is that the tuskan raiders of star wars have metal mouths that are closed, but in the AFFL, Hartan won't shut up. The amount of crap they talk equates to the screams and yells you hear from the Sand People in star wars. They are violent and have a unique way of communicating, kind of like Hartan during the AFFL draft. You don't understand them, but it doesn't matter, as longas they understand themselves. We also have to equate this team with the raiders because, well, for many years they sucked, until they finally got good. Just like the Raiders. Being Armenian, we had to put somebody in the dessert to pay homage to all the armos living in the middle east, and Hartan is reppin' that. The Tuskan Raiders pretty much attack everyone in Starwars, and that holds true for the pair in the AFFL. Unfortunately for the league, their smack talk is as dry and stale as the cracked earth they Tuskan live on. Oh Snap, look out for one of them to hold up their prongs in a menacing way. I call Harout is the first one. Mid-afternoon. Any takers.

 

HBK Shant Michaels - Owner Shant

Star Wars Character Name:
 

Luhbk Shantwalker

Raised at an early age on the desert plans of the old AFFL, Luhbk Shantwalker learned the ways of the AFFL force under the tutelage of Bomba Wan-Kanobi. He then went on his own, but was not ready to become a true Jedi. For years he trained, until he finally was strong enough to make it to he AFFL finals, facing off against Darth Vosgee. They fought hard, but ultimately Luhbk Shantwalker would crumble at the hands of Dallas death Star. The battle continued into 2017 where in their continued fight, Luhbk would lose the right hand of his strongest player, and now hangs by his for dear life, near the edge of oblivion. And just as it can't get worse, Darth Vosgee offers Luhbk a chance to join him on the darkside, by offering a trade for his handcuff. At that moment Shant realizes that Vosgee is HBK's Fantasy Daddy.... Nooooooooooo! Luhbk then free falls into Buck Allen and James Conner. To be continued.

 

Jaj Cousteau - Owner Chris

Star Wars Character Name:

Jaj Jaj Binks

This one is almost too good because it's double the Jaj. The tall lanky clumsy star wars character almost sounds like he is Jajing when he talks. Nothing is closer to Cousteau than this. Whenever he introduces himself with the line "Meesa Jar Jar," he might as well be saying "Meeso horny."  Whether it's by his wide-eyed over-reactions or his tongue hanging out of his mouth, it's like he lets us know that he just Jaj'd. Binks has also been banished to the basement of the Star Wars universe after his debut in Phantom menace. Like his Star Wars doppelganger, Cousteau has been relegated to the basement of the AFFL for the past few years, and things aren't exactly looking up this year. Lastly, I leave you with these quotes by Binks from the Phantom menace. They practically scream Jaj, especially the last one, which could be Jar jar's version of the word Jaj.

  1. "Dis is nutsen."
  2. “Ay-yee-yee! Wha! Was’n dat. Hey, wait! Oh, mooie-mooie! I love you!” 
  3. “Ex-queeze-me.”
  4. “I spake!”

 

Magnum Sev.i - Owner Sevag and Danny

Star Wars Character Name:

Magnum Chew.i

The hairiness just captures the imagination with this one. We can picture it now, Magnum carrying Danny on his back through the desert. It just fits perfectly. Chewbacca is a wookie, and despite 8 seasons in the AFFL, the way Sevag and Danny have managed their team, you'd think they are still wookie's too. They don't really say much on the AFFL chat, merely little small sound bytes, like the groan of Chewy when he doesn't like something. Physically, Sevag is a big guy, and we firmly believe that if he dedicated himself to the cause, he has enough Armenian genetics to fully transform into the hairy Star Wars character. Many aren't aware that Chewy rocks a stache' as well, and for all intents and purposes could be Armenian.  It just works on so many levels.

 

Prime Time - Owner Ara

Star Wars Character Name:

Ara the Hutt

There couldn't have been any other choice. The manager that annoys the heck out of everyone is just as annoying as the oversized beast of Star Wars fame. Jabba is a gangster and crime lord with huge ties to slavery, kind of like when Prime Time tries to nab everyone's back-up RB and hold them hostage. Heck, Jabba even handcuffed Princesses Leia, so he'd fall in love with all the handcuff's on Prime Time's roster. Like Jabba, Prime Time is really integrated into the Politics of the AFFL. His aberration of bi and trans managers would echo Jabba's very conservative political views. Both try to work the political systems of their respective universes, with an emphasis on treaties and paper documents to help establish clause. It's quite striking really. And of course, nobody really understands a word that is being said when both speak. Subtitles are extremely helpful.

 

Shabam Shadiq - Owner Dre and Avo

Star Wars Character Name:

R2-Diq2 and Sha3PO

So there are two of them right? The best of friends. And when one goes wondering off, the other is often confused and chases after him. It's like Dre staggering after Avo at the draft, "Wait, wait, where are you going? The bastarma can wait... oh fine." It's the blind leading the blind. And they've been doing it for years, just like their Gold and Silver tin character's from the Star Wars series. C3PO is a knowledgeable multi-linguistic robot, but full of worry and fear.  R2D2 is more the squeaky, whine, yet courageous of the two. Nothing could be dead on about Shabam and Shadiq. They have a full fledged fear and worry of injury since 2009, and even though Avo talks a big game, it's mostly just beeps and sound effects. Shabam has been redone and remade like the reinvented R2D2 through the series. Ending up on the scrap heap has been a theme for Shabam. We don't doubt that this season things will end with the Diq2 and Sha3PO walking off into the sunset blaming each other for the others mistakes. Ah, nostalgia.

 

Vosgereechee Gyank - Owner Mardig

Star Wars Character name:

Darth Vosgee

Darth Vosgee.jpg

From the HBK storyline, we can see clearly why the Vosgee is Darth Vosgee. After last season, he is Luhbk's Daddy. He harnessed the power of the Dallas Death Star (bailey) and used it to defeat Shantwalker. But going deeper we see a lot of ties to the Gyank and Vadar. Both have only won once (Empire Strikes Back for Vadar, and last season for Vosgee). Both have really cool looks, (Vosgee logo are brass knuckle). Both work with machines. And there are so many times when you have played the Vosgee or seen his team after the draft and said, "Damn, the team looks legit" like the look of a cool, cruel Vadar.  But remove the facade and its ugly. It's all ugly. There is nothing good under the surface. Everything is just a front to keep a dying roster alive. Like Vadar. The only thing we wish is that Vadar would be gold so it would correlate perfectly to the Golden Pen theme. Alas, we can't have everything. How many Vosgee trades have revealed the Darkside of the league? We rest our case.