AFFL in Chaos: Commissioner Ara Locks Out Entire League. Charges Co-Managers $1 tax. Mardig on his way out??
Raffi Lalazarian
Ara Tannen? Welcome to the new AFFL
In back-to-the-future 2, Marty McFly went into the future to Hill Valley, where to his surprise his whole community was being run down by gambling tycoon Biff Tanner. The dark cloud of Tannen created a society full of sex, drugs, gambling and decadence. We're not quite to the year of 2020, but the set of events may be in place in the AFFL.
In less than a week, New acting Commissioner Ara has managed to infuriate managers, put the league on lock-down, and threaten to kick out members who have been in the league for over 10 years. Looks like the future is now, and it's very dark.
On Tuesday afternoon, Commish Prime Time locked all teams from picking up players or performing any actions due to a "lack of respect" that one team showed to another. Kim Jung- Ara went on to establish clear rules for co-managers stating that there would be a $1 tax on "all co-manager teams and failure to pay the fine will result in league exemption." The "Dollars for Dumb-asses" program as Ara is calling it will help fund needy families who are living on government handouts around southern California. The league has not responded well to the new policies.
HBK manager lashed out to the policies stating that he needs to pick someone to "help him lose more respectably this week to Bomba." He went a step further to file a formal petition to play under protest should the lock-out continue.
"I don't give a rats ass who he thinks he is, he's not my commissioner," Said a heated HBK outside of his team's headquarters late Tuesday afternoon. "I'll start my own league, the WWAFFL, with only wrestling names baby."
The threats against Commissioner Ara came from all sides, including Dre and Avo, owners of Shabam Shadiq, who said they refuse to listen to anything that Ara says. They added he can kiss their Diq. No response was issued from the Commissioner office.
Vosgeee out the House?? Last place could mean just that in the new Ara era.
It is clear that the league's managers are having a gag reflex at the thought of having to swallow Ara as the acting commissioner, and the result is a mess everywhere. It's fair to wonder if the charade has gone on too long and that Lalazarian should return to take control. There have been no reports of that happening any time soon, and the league has had no communication with Lalazarian to this point.
One manager that hopes that Lalazarian returns is Vosgereechee Gyank owner Mardig, who now finds himself in the precarious position of perhaps becoming the first team to be kicked out of the league because of a last place finish. When word reached Mardig that this could happen he released the following statement: "Ara, Kakus Ger."
Will Ara kick Mardig out? How long will he tolerate the co-manager teams? Does he even sleep anymore or does he just think about ways of killing managers all night? It's a crazy time in the AFFL and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.
In short, the league's feelings are captured in Biff Tannen's infamous quote:
Hey Ara, "why don't you make like a tree and get outta here."