The OC compromise: Santa fe springs and Apelinc. Win 2018 Draft Hosting Bid

After weeks of submissions, Santa Fe springs has emerged as the location for the 2018 Affl draft which will be held on Saturday August 18th at Apelinc head quarters. The winning bid was submitted by apel inc owner Shant Apelian and was laced with incentives, including carne asada taco service as well as preferrential seating and bottle service for the current champ the Atomic Bomba. 

Per Affl rules, the bomba was given the option of choosing this years venue. He whittled the list down to four possible cities: pasadena, glendale, tustin, and the eventual winner santa fe springs. The bomba struggled with his choice as there was clamoring  from Prima Time owner Ara to have the draft in Orange County. Bomba owner Raffi said he wanted to find a venue that would be agreeable to all teams, but just couldnt bring himself to agreeing to terms with the lone manager who openly campaigns for the removal of the commissioner. 

"I knew that orange county probably wont host the draft for a long time since the draft is selected by the Affl champion and, well, you can put two-and- two together, but I just couldnt go all in, " said Raffi during his 2 hr conference call with reporters. "Santa fe springs was a perfect compromise. It was offered by an oc manager. It its a great location. Plus, Hbk really did a nice job on adding some perks to the experience."

The Apelinc venue will mark the first time the draft has been held in a warehouse. The draft will take place around one of the long conference tables at the headquarters, and will have premier carne asada taco service for he teams. The Current affl champion will also get preferred parking and seating, along with to table service for all food and beverages. Rumors have swirled that hbk may incorporate female dancers and a dj at the draft,  but those rumors have not been confirmed. 

2017 AFFL Champion: The Atomic Bomba

After an intense season of smack talk and close calls among it's 12 team participants, the AFFL crowned its 2017 champion on Monday afternoon. The Atomic Bomba held off a fierce Cobra Kai by a final score of 105.70 to 93.26 to achieve the illustrious crown. It becomes the teams 4th title, the most of any franchise in the league.

"We feel blessed to have achieved AFFL nirvana, and hold of a great team in Cobra Kai," manager Raffi Lalazarian said as he was doused in champagne. "There was a lot of hard work put in over the year, and it's great to reap those rewards."

The Bomba managed his team well, gambling on zeke and hitting a homerun with draft picks Alvin Kamara and Mark Ingram. In a league where it's survival of the luckiest, the team managed to survive 5 monday night miracles,  4 of which had the team down going into Monday night with long odds of victory. 

Cobra Kai did a great job managing his team to a 2nd place finish. The team squeaked into the playoffs and managed to survive the first round with a last second comeback to win by just a few points. He then managed to take down team Awesomeness who many thought was this years best team. Ultimately, taking down two lalazarian's in one year seemed to be a little too much. 

Awesomeness rounds off the top 3 with a 3rd place victory over Prime Time. The team that many thought would finish in 1st, finishes in 3rd, and suffered late because of the injury to Antonio Brown. Them are the breaks as they say.

In honor of the champion, the ceremonial Slide show lives below. Enjoy.

Commissioner Back! Lalazarian accepts Lifetime Barhantes pass and Zankou Thursdays to Return as Commissioner of AFFL. Frank Samian pays Co-manager $1 Fee to save Teams from 'Wrath of Ara.'

Reports said that Commissioner Lalazarian partied with AP during his week off.

After a 1.5 week hiatus, Commissioner Lalazarian accepted an extension to his contract to return as AFFL Commissioner for the next 5 years. Details of the extension emerged late Tuesday evening with reports that Lalazarian will indeed get a lifetime Barahantes pass and free Zankou on Thursdays. He will also get a prive Uber driver named Vazmig to take him to all AFFL functions. Funds for the perks will be taken out of the AFFL budget.

The move comes on the heels on yet another another controversial ploy of power by acting commissioner Ara Malikian. Malikian locked all teams from any league activity until a $1 tax for each co-manager was paid. In response to the bullying, co-managers reacted by threatening to egg Ara's house as they 'know where he lives.'  The back-and-forth went on all afternoon, until Frank Samian, head of AFFL Operations decided to put an end to the bickering.

"I don't give a shit about $4," said Samian as he cleaned up the back of his '96 newly restored Peugeot . "I'd give him double that if he'd just shut-up for a minute."

Friends close to Samian believe that the acting Commissioner had out stayed his welcome when he began throwing his weight around, forgive the pun. Those close to Samian claim the $4 fee was a way of taking power back into the league office. Malikian seemed to be enjoying his time at the top too much. Ironically, the $4 was $1 short, as Samian did not know that Tiggy is part of a tri-manager team with BDiddy. As a result, BDiddy is still locked from activities until somebody pays a buck for Tiggy. Baret and Mike are said to still be debating about paying the fee.

Still, Malikian did not run the league into the ground and did fairly well dealing with issues as they cropped up. He did manage to get Awesomeness back into the whats app chatroom after a 6 year hiatus, something Commissioner Lalazarian was unable to do. Could he serve as Commissioenr in the future? Early in the season that would be unthinkable, but now, anything is possible.

Update - AFFL Commish Extension: Lalazarian asking for Lifetime Barahantes Pass, free Zankou on Thursday; Awesomeness Comments on Whatsapp for 1st time in 6 years.

After nearly a week of Commissioner Ara at the head of the AFFL, the league is by some miracle still intact. After fining co-managers, locking out the league from making any moves, and threatening the expulsion of Vosgee Gyank owner Mardig should he finish last, Malikian broke ground on Thursday by negotiating the successful return of Awesomeness to the AFFL Whatsapp chat room.

Awesomeness owner David broke his 6 year silence with a comedic text message to the league  "Am I in the right place?" He went on  to give support for Ara as co-commissioner moving forward, though no formal vote or processing is expected. He also asked if anyone was interested in Fournette, not knowing that the trade deadline ended a week ago.

"That's what I do, I make deals," a proud Malikian said during a break from his thursday swim session. " These are the kinds of things that happen when you put me in charge. Things happen."

However, the temporary commissioner status of Ara has prompted the league to discuss the return of Lalazarian. Early Thursday morning had reports the Commissioner was in good spirits and closely monitoring the activities of the AFFL. Managers from the league had already contacted him about a return, but he refused to go so far as to give a definite date, stating only that "the time will be right when the time is right." 

Lalazarian did release a list of requests that he wishes the league to fulfill during any talks of an extension. Key requests include a "lifetime pass to all Barahentes' in Glendale," and free Zankou on Thursdays. The list also includes private use of an Uber driver to and from league events, as well as $50 yearly fee.  Owners have been said to be mulling the list.  Early reports say that the demands would be met, and Lalazarian will be back in charge of the AFFL by the playoffs. We'll keep you posted.

AFFL in Chaos: Commissioner Ara Locks Out Entire League. Charges Co-Managers $1 tax. Mardig on his way out??

Ara Tannen? Welcome to the new AFFL

In back-to-the-future 2, Marty McFly went into the future to Hill Valley, where to his surprise his whole community was being run down by gambling tycoon Biff Tanner. The dark cloud of Tannen created a society full of sex, drugs, gambling and decadence. We're not quite to the year of 2020, but the set of events may be in place in the AFFL.

In less than a week, New acting Commissioner Ara has managed to infuriate managers, put the league on lock-down, and threaten to kick out members who have been in the league for over 10 years. Looks like the future is now, and it's very dark.

On Tuesday afternoon, Commish Prime Time locked all teams from picking up players or performing any actions due to a "lack of respect" that one team showed to another. Kim Jung- Ara went on to establish clear rules for co-managers stating that there would be a $1 tax on "all co-manager teams and failure to pay the fine will result in league exemption." The "Dollars for Dumb-asses" program as Ara is calling it will help fund needy families who are living on government handouts around southern California. The league has not responded well to the new policies.

HBK manager lashed out to the policies stating that he needs to pick someone to "help him lose more respectably this week to Bomba." He went a step further to file a formal petition to play under protest should the lock-out continue.

"I don't give a rats ass who he thinks he is, he's not my commissioner," Said a heated HBK outside of his team's headquarters late Tuesday afternoon. "I'll start my own league, the WWAFFL, with only wrestling names baby."

The threats against Commissioner Ara came from all sides, including Dre and Avo, owners of Shabam Shadiq, who said they refuse to listen to anything that Ara says. They added he can kiss their Diq. No response was issued from the Commissioner office.

Vosgeee out the House?? Last place could mean just that in the new Ara era.

It is clear that the league's managers are having a gag reflex at the thought of having to swallow Ara as the acting commissioner, and the result is a mess everywhere. It's fair to wonder if the charade has gone on too long and that Lalazarian should return to take control. There have been no reports of that happening any time soon, and the league has had no communication with Lalazarian to this point.

One manager that hopes that Lalazarian returns is Vosgereechee Gyank owner Mardig, who now finds himself in the precarious position of perhaps becoming the first team to be kicked out of the league because of a last place finish. When word reached Mardig that this could happen he released the following statement: "Ara, Kakus Ger."

Will Ara kick Mardig out? How long will he tolerate the co-manager teams? Does he even sleep anymore or does he just think about ways of killing managers all night? It's a crazy time in the AFFL and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.

In short, the league's feelings are captured in Biff Tannen's infamous quote:

Hey Ara, "why don't you make like a tree and get outta here."