AFFL Finals Preview: The Heartbreak Kid vs The Golden Pen

"Vosgee Dust" vs HBK Shant Michaels

And then there were two. After a blistering early round of playoff games, and a nail biting finish to the Vosgee v Prime Time match-up, the 2016 AFFL Finals will feature two newbies vying for league supremacy: HBK Shant Michaels, Vosgereechee Gyank.

HBK and Vosgee become the 9th and 10th teams to make an AFFL final, leaving Shabam Shadiq and BDiddy as the only two teams that have never made the final game. However, whichever one wins this weekend will enter into elite company, becoming one of only six teams to claim the title over a ten year period. In the ultra-competitive world of the AFFL, you don't get to the top often, and you need to take advantage when you do.

The two teams are built in entirely different ways. HBK has big guns in Brees, David Johnson, Aj Green to carry the load, while Vosgee's prospects hinges on Antonio Brown and a bunch of mid-tier players outperforming expectations weekly. Engagement rings, kidney stones, and cool nicknames are just a few of the many subplots we're following in the match-up.  Let's see who's gonna get an extra ring under their tree come xmas time. 

HBK Shant Michaels

How he got here:

• Quarterfinal - Bye
• Semi-final - defeated BDiddy (158.26-99.72)

What he's got going for him

Where to begin? David Johnson has been a stud all season long, and anchored HBK's Rb position. With the loss of AJ Green, DJ needed to produce to cover HBK's behind. Couple DJ with a healthy AJ and that is a dangerous combo. Sprinkle in Drew Brees and Mike thomas and the team is good for 140+ on most weeks. This was evident during the season, when HBK rifled off 130+ games in consecutive weeks.  If Vosgee is going to have a chance, he'll need to put up points in the treetops. 100 pts or less won't win it.

Getting AJ green back is a big boost for HBK, but even bigger will be the non-roster karma that he has going for him. So far, Baby karma has been proven to be the lesser of all karmas. We have learned that 2016 is the year of the rock. Engagement rings have trumped babies in match-ups, and HBK just defeated another engagement team in BDiddy. The obvious breakdown is that HBK's engagement was from a single manager, which trumped engagements from co-manager teams. This sort of karma bodes well for the armo wrestler wannabe as he will have all sorts of power in close match-ups.

You have to appreciate the bravado of the Michaels picking up players in the latter weeks and plugging them in. Robby Anderson was a play that netted 17 points. It didn't factor into the blow-out win, but it does show that HBK has his instincts in the right place.

Lastly, defense wins championships, and New England is about to do with the NASCAR driver turned quarterback Bryce Petty. That is a match-up that has tons of upside to it.

What's working against him

If Vosgee is going to upset HBK, it'll be because the players on the Michaels just weren't able to overcome match-ups. AJ Green is coming off weeks of a hamstring injury. He may play enough to get his 1000 yards and then sit the rest of the game. He also could aggravate the hammy during the game and sit. This is all without factoring the tough match-up in the Houston Texan secondary. There is downside to Green this week, which could net HBK a low point total at the WR spot.

We can't overlook the potential pot hole that could be the RB2 position. Jeremy Hill is questionable and may sit. If he does, the other options on the team aren't worth of RB2 consideration. Farrow and/or Duke Johnson won't be the kind of play that Hill could be. Add to that the potential of a disaster at the flex in whomever HBK picks (nothing is guaranteed with those wr's) and there are holes galore. 

Last statement

HBK is one of the founding managers of the AFFL (Prime Time, Shabam, Bomba, HBK) and has yet to taste the years of dedication to the league. He has been extremely unlucky in years past, but seems to be clicking on all cylinders coming into the final match-up. Yet, we still have to ask, will it finally unravel this week?'

Vosgereechee Gyank

How he got here

• Quarterfinals: Defeated Shabam (100.84-75.26)
• Semi-finals: Defeated Prime Time (128.28-124.54)

What he's got going for him

Raise your hand if you had Vosgee making the final in your office pool? Ya didn't think so. While the Gyank has spent years watching from the sidelines, this season, he finds himself on top of the AFFL mountain about to plant his flag on the summit. One of the big reasons for this is thanks to his unorthodox style of play. In a year that was anything but normal, Vosgee's instincts seemed to match the results week-in and week-out. Coupled with the right calls, he's been getting luck with his opponents, as they have under-performed when match-up against him. Could be the Vosgee effect, the magical voodoo that the Gyank has on his opponents.

When talking about the roster, the two names that jump out are Antonio Brown and Aaron Rodgers. If the Gyank is going to pull off the win, he'll need big days from those two players. Antonio hasn't really had a crazy game in a while, and Aaron hasn't had the kind of consistency that he has in the past. However, both players are capable of 30+ and will be needed to do so if Gyank has a chance.

The biggest thing Gyank has going for him is Kidney stone karma. Having given birth to a kidney stone over the past month, Gyank has creatively combined the giving birth karma of a baby with the "stone" from an engagement ring into one event. This super karmic force has already proven its worth as Gyank held on for dear life Monday Night against Jason Witten and Doug Martin, winning by 4 points. We have been advocating that HBK get some sort of ailment before Sunday to counter the "KidneyGyank" but it may be too late. It may be the "Heart Break Kid-ney" for Shant Michaels.

Lastly, in a year where the unthinkable happened in politics, Gyank represents the closest comparison to that happening in the AFFL. Vosgee is the Trump of the AFFL, an outsider who at the beginning of the season was on the bottom of the list of likely AFFL champions. We also note that Trump has "Golden hair," an ominous sign of the connection to Vosgee. Will Gyank make the AFFL great again? Sunday is the day of reckoning.

What he has going against him

Lets face it, this roster isn't loaded with studs. Two starters (Gore and Steve Smith) are senior citizens by NFL standards, and the other players aside from the above mentioned Antonio Brown and Rodgers aren't anything special. Ty Montgomery probably won't have 40 points again this week, and with tough match-ups across the board, the roster has a lot of downside. If an injury or concussion were to occur to one of the main players during the match, there is no doubt that this finals may turn into a blow-out quickly.

Gyank also doesn't have playoff experience like HBK, leaving him much more vulnerable to a last minute roster mistake. He cannot afford to make any roster mistakes as his team lacks the number of tier one players when compared to HBK. The team is currently a 15 point underdog according to yahoo (AFFL betters currently have HBK at -9.14).

Last Statement

Vosgee has gotten to the championship game and is playing with house money. Nobody thought he'd get here, yet he did. Nobody thinks he'll win, yet he could. If he does, he would have defeated the top two seeds in the AFFL in doing so and will have earned it. With Gyank, nothing comes easy, and neither will this. But can he pull it off?

The Prediction

Brees doesn't have an off game and out-duels Rodgers in points, while AJ Green is content with 43 yards on 5 catches in Hou. Stop! Hammy time. Antion "What can Brown do for you" delivers for the Gyank, and Steve Smith shows the young Mike Thomas that there is still life in his ex-panther legs. At the RB spot, Hey Mr. DJ is playing that song all night, spinning to the tune of 130 and 2 tds. Thank you but no TY Mr. Montgomery, you won't find much running room in Minny this weekend. Gore can out do Jeremy on the Hill, but when Greg Olsen cranks it up for 80 and a score its Zach is gonna be singing some John Cougar Mellancamp "It Ertz So good." HBK won't be flexing much with whomever is in that slot, while Rishard will be the winner of that play. And despite the long kicks Tucker, The New England Defense will ground the Jets for more points than needed, setting up HBK to be sippin' on some Dan Bailey's Irish Cream Liquor on Monday night with his new championship title.