Bdiddy Wants League to Start over after winless start. Accuses Jaj Cousteau as having "Illegal Waiver Program""
Raffi Lalazarian
Owner of Bdiddy, Baret Chakarian filed a claim on Wednesday evening with the AFFL requesting the 2014 season should be restarted. The pie-in-the-sky request cites "rule changes that have lead to cheating on the waiver wire" and that "he may not make the playoffs and that's unacceptable" as reasons.
“It's unacceptable bro,” said Baret to a group of reporters. “My team is bad, but not this bad. This new waiver wire thing with money is rigged bro. I got Jaj out bidding me on everything. What's going on? When did he become the stock market. He knows something we all don't. I know it."
Jaj Cousteau owner Chris went on a spending spree this past week, snatching multiple free agents off the shelves. His bids were impeccable. His twenty-eight dollar bid on the Ravens RB Lorenzo Taliaferro was exactly one dollar over the highest bid (Cobra kai). That sort of precision is very difficult to do, and has prompted Diddy to cry foul.
"So how does Jaj bid exactly one dollar over the highest bidder if this is all done in secret?" co-manager Monkey Mike questioned. "He's not lucky. He's not. The only other answer is that he has a computer program that can see everyone's bids, like ones used in online poker rooms to cheat. He's cheating bro."
“I’ve made love to the waiver wire for years. My Jaj is all over it”
Poker rooms have been known to have players that use illegal programs that can show what cards other players in the room are holding, giving the ultimate tip to raking in tons of cash. Could Jaj be using the same type of program?
According to a statement released by Cousteau, that idea is ludicrous. Citing his successful waiver wire history, Cousteau says that there is no one better at working the list of free agents better than he.
"I've made love to the waiver wire for years. My Jaj is all over it."
Jaj laughs his ass off at BDiddy accusing him of cheating the waiver wire.
BDiddy seems to be reaching at straws here, trying to overcompensate for an 0-3 start that has the prospects of the playoffs fading quickly to black. It is unlikely that the commissioner will take the request seriously, and restart the league.
Despite the slow start, the only team to turn things around in the history of the league after starting winless is BDiddy. It will take a lot of work, luck, and some help from the schedule, but the playoffs are not out of reach.
It is worth noting that Vegas has odds on AFFL teams to make the postseason, and Diddy is such a long shot that it's off the board.