AFFL Managers Spotlight: Cobra Kai to become first Duel Sport Manager
Raffi Lalazarian
"The blades of grass on any field are the same. Just different cleats" - Cobra Kai
If the above quote is true, then Cobra is looking to wear two types of cleats at the same time. AFFL news is reporting that Cobra Kai is looking to become an Assistant Manager in the AYSO soccer league in order to coach his son and AFFL co-manager Samuel. He has been attending mandatory training classes this week in hopes of becoming eligible for the beginning of the season.
"I don't know much about soccer, except you gotta kick it into the net," said Sayyad from the parking lot of the AYSO headquarters. "But I know you get to sweep the leg, and I like that."
Unfortunately for Sayyad, sweeping the leg is a penalty unless the defender strikes the ball first, but I guess he'll find that out the hard way.
The move to coach in the AYSO comes at a time when Cobra should be preparing for the AFFL draft, prompting rumblings that Kai is no longer committed to his AFFL obligations. Primetime Owner Ara has already come out and blasted Sayyad on social media tweeting out "He Cobra, if you're gonna quit, Quit! Don't create excuses!#AFFL"
Cobra kai has been a team on the rise in years past, becoming the 3rd team to win a title in 2013 and finishing 3rd in 2014. However, the last few seasons have seen a decline in production in the Cobra kai brand with a 5th place finish in 2015 and an 8th place finish in 2016. Critics point to this trend as evidence, coupled with the recent soccer coaching move as Cobra's lack of motivation in the AFFL. Cobra has vehemently denied the claim.
"No chance. Never say die brotha. No mercy. Always."
So what happens in 2017? Can Cobra where two types of cleats and still succeed on both fronts? Experts believe that its impossible. The last duel sports athletes were in the 90s and today's sports demands are just too great. Compounding the issue is the fact that should Cobra fail, he's bringing his son down with him, something child psychologists warn could be detrimental to Samuel's attitude toward sports. Psych expert Rob Lovell explains:
"When Samuel realizes that his father has coached him to losing in soccer and in the AFFL, he's just gonna believe that whatever he does with his father means that it will end ina loss. Don't be surprised if Samuel decides to split from his father's coaching responsibilities by the age of 6."
All the pressure is on Cobra Kai now to deliver two titles in two different versions of football. If he succeeds he will have done something never done in the history of the AFFL. But if he fails, he may have to face the prospect of losing a co-manager. Finding out that sweeping the leg is apenalty in soccer seems to be the least of his worries.