Cobra Kai Diagnosed with Trader's Addiction. Offers Olsen for Clay Jars at Local Swap Meet.
Raffi Lalazarian
Cobra Kai may need to dial a 1-800 number very soon.
After pulling off two trades in a three week span, it seems that Cobra Kai manager Sayyad isn't satisfied. In fact, he may never be satisfied. The karate manager has an insatiable desire for trades, and has been diagnosed by fantasy doctors as having a Trader's addiction.
"Trader's addiction is developed after many years of sending out bullsh$$ trade offers," said Dr. Fienhold, head of the AFFL research and development lab in Los angeles, Ca. "The trader offers up so many BS trades that they then get the uncontrollable desire to keep offering something, just to get the 'High' of winning a trade."
While Dr. Fienhold says that the addiction can be cured, it is very difficult to do so if the patient has reached BS level #4, offering scrub players for stars.
It looks like Sayyad could have hit that level last week, when offered Awesomeness Melvin Gordon and Allen Robinson for Arian Foster. Fantasy experts don't quantify this as a BS trade, but many who imagine Foster to be an RB1 would definitely say this was indeed bullsh$$.
Photo's surfaced just this week showing Sayyad at a local swap meet attempting to trade his star tight end Greg Olsen to a Mexican woman for clay jars. When approached by a local fan of the team, Sayyad quickly scurried away to another booth, shaming the fan for not understanding "his method." Dr. Fienhold explains the reaction.
Trader's Addiction anology
"Once a patient has gone to level 4, they often times shut others out of the picture, and believe themselves to be on another level when it comes to player evaluation. To quote a Barry Manilow line, they believe, 'they write the songs that the whole world sings.'"
Trader Kai has been superb in his dealings over the years, and has won more trades than he has lost. However, we forget that for every trade he has made, there have been thousands of offers that have failed. It is clear that the addiction has been in slumber for many years and is now reaching the surface.
AFFL managers have been told of the diagnosis and have been asked not to be offended if they receive a BS trade offer from Cobra Kai. They hope that teams will understand that this is an affliction that will take time to overcome, and the Commissioner has asked teams to show sensitivity. An AFFL public service announcement is in the works, as are donations to the FTA (Fantasy Trader's Anonymous) the group that helps managers with fantasy trading addictions.
The Commissioner hopes that Sayyad and other managers that are addicted to sending out BS trade offers get the help they deserve. This is a serious issue that is only now coming to light.
Our prayers are with Cobra Kai and every future trade offer he sends. He needs it.