Awesomeness Owner Gets 75% score on Awesome Quiz. Brings Authenticity of Awesomeness into Question.
Raffi Lalazarian
Today is the birthday of Awesomeness owner David, August 5th. He is probably feeling Awesome right now and plans to have an Awesome cake along with some Awesome gifts. We would expect everything in his life to be Awesome. For the most part I'm sure it is. But could Awesomeness have a non-awesome side to himself? Is he perhaps not completely Awesome? Apparently so.
AFFL has obtained information about an Awesome quiz that David took on brainfall.com entitled How Awesome are you? The result: He scored a 75%.
For normal people, 71% is a very respectable score and most citizens of this earth would gladly accept being that much Awesome. (Obama reportedly scored in the low 40s). But when your whole brand is built around being the king of all that is wonderful, spectacular, and down right awe inspiring, you would expect a one hundred percent result. David failed to achieve such a result and now his Awesomeness is being called into question.
The test questions ranged from opinions about certain aspects of life to how you would react in a situation. Below is a sample question:
2. It's Sunday and you have no place to be. You are out walking near a local landmark when a young couple waves at you and asks you to help them take a picture. You...
- Keep on walkin'.
- Lie and say you're too busy to help em out.
- Take a picture for them, but don't feel too thrilled about being asked to do it.
- Take some pictures of the couple and make sure they are pleased with how they turn out!
We do not know how David answered the above question, but we would not put it past anyone if he just "kept walkin." Another question asked if he would be able to do the dishes after a meal, we are banking that unless the dishes made their way to the couch, that would probably be a negative.
“The only thing worse than his team being called Awesome is the fact that you believed it. But not Prime Time (wagging finger).”
The test result is interesting considering that David has failed to make the playoffs in the last two years of the AFFL, not so awesome. That was after he reached the finals for three straight seasons and won two titles, becoming the first back-to-back AFFL champion, very awesome indeed.
David was unable to be reached for comment, but Prime Time owner Ara (scored a 37% on the same quiz) was quick to lend his own thoughts. "Awesomeness is horrible. He's always been horrible, and he will always be horrible. The only thing worse than his team being Awesome is the fact that you all believed it. But not Prime Time (wagging finger)."
It is too soon to write-off the authenticity of Awesomeness after an average test result and two poor seasons in the AFFL. His first three years solidified his name, and he will attempt to recapture that glory in 2014. Maybe he just got tired and need a few years off. Can you be awesome all the time? Sometimes you need a break.
When David blows out the candles on his cake today, we know that each candle will go out at the exact same time. We know that the first slice of cake will be as perfect as the last. We know that the taste of the cake will be as delicious as any other. These are the standards that Awesomeness places on himself. The standards he tries to live up to, and has failed to do so in the AFFL for the past two years. When he blows out those candles, we also know the wish that he will be making for himself and his team. 75% Awesomeness won't cut it. It's gotta be 100% or bust. Have an Awesome-Freakin-Day.